How NOT To Piss Off Women
by OneweirdwriteR
Summary: Ragna has published a book about dealing with women. Included here are the problems, advices as well as solutions... but only on a given problem. Not only that, there's personal tips and tricks by Madam Rachel herself. But having to hear Rachel herself is rare, since she's tired of teaching us children.
1. About the Author

A possibility of a continuum shift that had became the final timeline of the universe, everything was back to normal. And I mean everything. Terumi's gone, his buddies are gone, the NOL isn't your shady government anymore, Sector Seven is your trusted company when it comes to technologies, and finally... I'm out of the SS-Criminal picture. I can stroll the streets without pushing the alarm of people. I have a job that can buy me things I need, I have shelter to come back, and finally, I have a family.

But it's not what I've expected it to be: living a perfectly normal life. Honestly, I want the old timeline back, where I beat the shit out of Terumi over and over again. Dealing with my wife is a major pain in the ass, I wonder how long can I endure her beatings. But then again, I love her even though she's being too much. It happens. Nothing's perfect. I chose to be with her, I deal with it. I just have to be thankful she's not the typical women people always tend to have.

With the wisdom I got from my wife, I will share you tips and tricks on how NOT to piss off women. I have my special thanks to my wife for giving her utmost support to make this book you're reading right now a reality. If not, well, this book wouldn't exist in the first place. The only audience I'll have if she didn't give me her support are garbage, shit, piss, and any other disgusting waste we humans throw everyday.

Before you head to the actual first chapter, lemme tell you this: you can read this one in any order. I really don't want to consider this a book, but it takes a book form, so screw it. If you need any help, additional tips and all that, send me a mail on the address on the first page. DO NOT use the electronic mail. Me and my wife are not into technologies. In fact, we hate it. Just look at Kokonoe for what happens when you work too much on your precious computer.

Enough chit-chat, just flip a random page, or check the table of contents. I'm done with my "About Me" section anyway.

* * *

 **A/N:** The actual first chapter will be posted soon. I'm too tired from too much work to type it down. Any suggestions or tips regarding on how not to piss off women, leave it on the review box or PM me.


	2. Menstruation

How **NOT** to deal with: _Women on Periods_

You see, one day, your girlfriend, your wife, your mother, your sister, cousin, or whatever, starts to act like an angry bull that's ready to strike you down, even though you did nothing wrong. They yell angrily at you, beat you up in a pulp, strike you down, and annoy you. Also, they have this weird craving to a certain food... whether they eat it like there's no tomorrow, or just stare at it romantically. If this strikes on what's happening to your female relative, friend, anyone that's a she, then it's the period's fault.

Periods are a pain in the ass. It can match our sudden bulge in our pants, but hurts more than that. We men suffer from erection from any time of the day, many times as it wishes, but women? They may suffer it three to seven days a month, but damn, it can be a major disaster if you don't try to do anything to have her in check. Looking up about periods on Rachel's massive library, I found out that it's a sign that there's no baby coming... in the most agonizing way possible.

I can feel my balls clencing in pain as I read more and more about periods and how it works. They are not just blood flowing from a female's vagina. They suffer discomforts and problems as well. Unlike our boner, which are harmless and only needs attention, periods have some minor yet serious side effects. Ask a woman about it, you might not be able to wake up for a few days. If you're reading this, lucky you and me, since I got this fact straight from my wife. So take notes if you can't carry my work with you.

The common problems a woman has to endure are:

\- Heavy blood flow (No wonder they change pads like crazy, if they have the regular size.)

\- Cramps (When you see them holding their lower stomach as they cringe in pain, you might wanna have a distance between her. I'm warning you.)

\- Irregular periods (You think periods only lasted for three days? Think again.)

\- Changes in sex drive (Yes, women can still be horny even when they're bleeding.)

\- Mood swings (You might want to prepare for this one. It's one of the worst, to be honest.)

With those written, now you see why they're the monster for the week. The decision on how to deal with them are up to you, but for this book... I'll give you tips on how NOT to piss her off.

 **Task One:** Ask if she's on period when she's having a mood swing.

I did mentioned before that mood swings are blamed to menstruations (as Rachel says, it's the "proper" term). But I repeat: ASKING IS SUICIDE. Doing so will lead you to a kick in the groin and tampering with her fragile feelings, since mood swings are making her go nuts. Lemme give you an example for that.

You see, when my wife has her time of the month, man, it was the craziest week I have to endure. Her mood swings are IMPOSSIBLE to control. One moment, she'll demand to do this and that, the next minute, she's craving for live squirrels and tried to murder Makoto since she's a squirrel beastkin! Then it's back to intense commanding of things to do, and then it ended with her taking a bear nap... without any breaks. I was dumb to not realize that, and a fellow man told me she's having her time of the month. Obviously, I didn't get it, so he flat out said that she's having a menstruation.

Now, I learned that intense mood swings like those, especially to a usual compose woman, is a sign of having a period. So, with that in mind, I tried asking another woman named Tsubaki Yayoi when she's lusting to murder me while we were doing some voluntary yard work. When she's acting all spooky and psychotic, I approached her and asked her,"Are you on your period?", I didn't beat around the bush, I didn't imply it, I said it straight outta my mouth. Tsubaki dropped her yard broom, her faced flush in deep crimson, and she scowled. With these words, it was one of the times I was having a near-death experience, "RAGNA THE BLOODEDGE, YOU EVIL PERVERT!" With a broom in hand, she chased me and used the broom to hit me straight on my head.

Thankfully, my wife arrived to interfere- wait, why did I said thankfully? I wasn't thankful with her at all! She sided with her, and lectured me for asking a lady with a sensitive question! What a bitch! She's supposed to defend her defenseless husband! Luckily, she managed to calm Tsubaki down, and didn't chased me around with a broom for the rest of the day. But I still received some death glare and venom words from her.

So keep those moments in mind, if you want to keep your woman in control.

 **Task Two:** Tease her about having her time of the month.

I know most of you love to tease the shit out of women. We all do. But sadly, doing this in their time of the month is asking for your death sentence. I told you that they have intense move swings. If they hit you when you tease them, doing that when they're having a period will give you a paid ticket to the hospital. So don't do this with a woman in their period. Lemme give you a rundown of what happened when I teased the same women who has a boiling hatred toward me.

Me, Jin, Noel and Tsubaki were having a lunch date. The conversations were pleasant, me and Tsubaki seemed to get along well, Jin's not on the hots for my body, and we were eating a hearty meal. Of course, it didn't last since I screwed up. I teased Tsubaki about being nice to me, and possibly on drugs since she's talking normally. Unaware that she was just restraining herself to be nice to me for once, I triggered the "bitch mode" Tsubaki as she flipped the tables to my direction, spilling the delicious contents and wasting them. Long story short, Tsubaki almost murdered me because Jin and Noel held off their insane friend and calmed her down.

 **Task Three:** Disobeying her command while she's on her time of the month

No matter how absurd it is, just try to do her plea. Make yourself appear like you're struggling to do it, then give up, exhale tiredly, look at her and say, "Hey, I know you really want me to do this, but... I can't. I'm sorry." There's a 90% chance of it working, it may vary since every women is different (screw that slut who says all men are the same).

If you don't, well, I'm wishing you good luck feeding your woman with a bar of chocolate to tame her. Or pray that your door is sturdy enough to hold off her strength on trying to tear it down with her own hands. If you're willing to be with her, remember, in the future, you'll never escape this cycle every month.

Finally, I'm done with this topic. With that remembered, I wish you all a sturdy relationship with your women, whether it'll be your lover, or mother, sister, cousin, or your friend.

Oh yeah. My wife corrected me in my Introduction page. You can use electronic mail to send your tips, requests, any of those things... by sending it directly to this electronic page. If you're reading the hard copy in the near future, too bad for you, you missed a lot. Also, proofread is done with my beloved wife. Seriously, I can't see myself dating another woman than her.


	3. Inferiority Complex - Bosom

How **NOT** to comfort: _Flat-chested women envying bigger racks_

Have you ever get slapped for staring on a woman's chest? Have you ever get punched in the shoulder when you stared on a woman's chest, then glanced at your girlfriend (or wife), then back at the female stranger again? Have you ever get your ass kicked for gazed on a woman's chest, checked your girlfriend's rack, then back to the woman's bosom, nodding to yourself? If all of your answer is yes, that, my friend, is a woman suffering from inferiority complex when it comes to bosom.

If you're those people who I know personally, you may ask to yourself, why the hell am I writing about boobs? Let alone dealing with girls who lacks those jiggling tits? If you haven't seen my online feedback, which is on the review box of this electronic page, then go! Check it out! If you don't want to, or unable to because you own the hard copy, lemme quote it to you.

This particular review came from a dude named _KnightSpark_ , with words containing, " _This tip is most important: don't look at other women, especially if their chest is bigger than your wife's_ ", and I thought, why the hell not? I went to my wife for support, as always, then gave me the permission to do so, with the same thought as me, why the hell not. The thing is, _KnightSpark_ manage to strike down my wife's bust size, but my wife isn't those jealous women: she's perfectly content with her small but round breasts. Here's what she said when I asked her, "Still want to have bigger tits?"

She only glanced at me. "And what does the size difference contributes to our relationship, let alone to myself?"

That's my wife. The ultimate female badass with words and actions.

Back to the main topic. Anyway, if you have a girlfriend like that (or wife, or a friend with benefits), and you want to deal with it quick, here's your answer: read my damn book. No, really. In here, you'll find tips on how not to make them piss off and ditch you to rot. Just keep my tips in mind, and of course, the advice of lady Rachel Alucard. Yes, she's going to write her own crisp advice here, be thankful, asshole.

Oh yeah, before you ask about the problem, there's no problem. The problem is itself. There's no solution. It's futile. Here's why, and spoken by Rachel:

 _A female's breasts varies on the amount of hormones the body has. If I explain it further, I might destroy Ragna's little book by frying your brains with detailed information about breast and its other factors. And it will be a boring little book that lacks the humor you all need, since I'm a boring, snobby, uncaring bitch you all hate. Good day._

Final note. Call her those insults again, I'll hunt you down. Now for the tips.

 **Task One:** Ask her about why she's envying other women's big breasts.

Women are one scary creatures. I heard from Nago that women can fight with just their eyes, and they actually witnessed it between Rachel and Noel. If you ask her, no matter how nice it is, all you'll get is a kick to the groin, and being "too insensitive" about her feelings. Also, they have the guts to blame YOU about their flatness! Like, what the hell did I even do? Suck your tits dry? I didn't even laid my mouth on it, if you're my sister or whatever! That's sick and gross!

Instead of having an unfortunate event on it, Rachel shared me a tale about the alternate truth of a timeline. When Nago and Gii witnessed the two glaring daggers to each other, instead of the usual trash talk from Rachel, well, ahem. Excuse me, but, sorry if you're reading this Noel, but you really did say these things one time. Shame on you. I believe rabbit as much as I believe master, so don't call her a snobby liar.

Now, about what she said, lemme quote the evens that has transpired to get the better picture.

Noel stared at Rachel's bosom. "W-why do you have a bigger breasts than me?! You're too young!"

"How inappropriate of you to measure my bust size without my permission, let alone scowl at it?" Rachel, with her usual sass.

"But you're young... Younger than me, in fact! How can you... you're breasts..." Noel

"Sush, child. Your yapping is getting into my delicate ears. If you're obsessing about it too much, you're going to steer off from your main objective." Rachel

"I don't care! I-if you won't talk about your secret, I'll a-arrest you on the spot!" Noel, on her battle stance

Rachel goes on her battle stance as well, "...How pathetic. Such trivial matters gets to her like it's her only way to be alive..."

Meanwhile, Nago and Gii kept their mouth shut to avoid getting hit by Rachel. They were trying too hard to not laugh about the scene that has transpired in front of them.

Well, too bad I didn't see it myself. I was busy working my way to the NOL branch, and it seems Noel already ran off to cry to her mommy. At least I don't have to deal with her about her breasts issues. That will be freaky.

 **Task Two:** Reassure her that you don't have to have bigger breasts to be, well, a woman.

It's useless and a waste of time. Unless you happen to be with the rare species, where they actually understand your point, even if you're a man, just don't try.

If you're still not convinced, here's why I'm saying it. Hey, be thankful I'm writing this.

Me and Noel happened to be in the kitchen, you know, doing the things needed to be done in the kitchen. ...I sense some perverse thoughts plaguing your minds. Assholes. We're trying to cook here. No way in hell I'll place my dick in her plastic pussy, if she's actually made from plastic. Plus, she's the replica of my sister. No way in hell I'll fuck a chick that looks exactly like my sister. You sick-minded bastards.

Anyway, Noel was doing good on following my instructions on how to bake a strawberry shortcake. Of course, I don't want the atmosphere to feel awkward, since it's just the two of us, so I strike up a small talk. As our chatting goes on, I genuinely asked her, "So... what's up with your inferiority complex towards your boobs?"

Like triggering the "bitch mode" Tsubaki, her face flushed pink and she kept stammering about it's not easy to have a small breasts. "Y-you always get teased on!"

"What about it? You have a decent mounds rising from your chest." I don't get it. I can clearly see it with her skimpy outfit. But she's not wearing one today. I lectured her about her wardrobe, thanks to bunny-leech.

Then I made her cry. "You don't know what it feels like... to get called... a cutting board! Mistaken as a g-guy... many times!"

Long story short, I apologized to her for being too insensitive on the topic, and baked many strawberry shortcakes for her as my apology. If you don't want to make your girl cry, don't talk about their breasts. Period.

 **Task Three:** Force her boobs to listen to Heavy Metal songs.

I know you're scratching your head about this one. I am, too. I'm placing my blame on that weirdo chick who just shared something bizarre. It's a joke, obviously, so in case you all wanted to try this one, don't. I'm leaving a warning here so I'll not be blamed with your jokes.

"Ever heard of Mai Shiranui?" Ace

"No." Me

"She's a shinobi with heavy Ds." She grinned

"Okay...?" What about her, really?

"Do you know her favorite genre?"

"Obviously, I don't know, so spill."

I can't forget that son of a bitch grin she has on her face. "Heavy Metal. If you're wondering why her tits won't stop bouncing, it's because of too much dose of Heavy Metal. Not only she bangs her head to the beat, her boobies bounces in time on the rhythm also. I should try that some time, too."

I didn't believe her at first, so we checked out her Wiki page, since she's a fictional character, and I couldn't believe my eyes. For someone who's a regular shinobi chick, she listens to Heavy Metal, most girls hate. Like, really? I'll be inclined to believe in Ace's boob joke and try it out on my wife some time. Thing is, I don't think it'll work.

Any problems you wish to ask me? Leave it down on this page, or send me a mail personally. You know the deal.


	4. Emotional Women - Cosmo Camellia's Tale

So I decided to check my feedback on the review box. They're praises so far, as well as some requests. I plan to write about them some time. Something caught my eye, though. There's a reviewer, a girl, named _Cosmo Camellia._ Here's her feedback: _Hey Ragna, maybe you can give Demidevil45 some tips to avoid pissing me off._

Normally, I do things my own way, but this one seems serious. Call me a softie, but I decided to write my next tip for her. I usually take a break after writing, but after deciding to write this one down as well as talk to my wife about this subject, here I am now. This is what I'll call a **Special Entry** , where I write my tips for something important, like _Cosmo Camellia_ _'s_ relationship with her boyfriend. So, without further ado, here's the damn entry you're waiting for.

How **NOT** to love: _A girl named Cosmo Camellia or any emotional girls in general._

Before I start, I have to ask you all readers a question... Where the hell did your pennames came from? Some of them are weird for me to say, or it's too long. Like, for example: this penname called _Kimmo Kimono Apple Pronger._ Isn't it a chore to type it down somewhere, and to say it as a whole? Geez, people, make it simple. Also, another one called _l3argus_. Is it small letter l, number 3, and the word argus? Or is it Blargus? Again, what the hell does Blargus mean?

Alright, enough rambling about pennames. I personally don't know _Cosmo Camellia_ _,_ hell, my wife doesn't even know her either. But she did mentioned that she's an average writer who writes fiction about our universe. I really don't like reading, and my wife doesn't really give a damn about it. As long as she's doing good, I guess? Also, instead of focusing on her problem, might as well direct it to all sensitive women out there, as requested by my wife. Especially for those who happens to be with these kind of women.

Now, the problem is this guy named _Demidevil45,_ seems to not treating _Cosmo Camellia_ properly. According to her review anyway. Guys, there's a thing called **boundary** , and cross that boundary many times without consent, there's a high chance you'll piss off your woman by A LOT. So keep that in mind. If you're a jackass, I don't know what to say then. Might as well say screw you and send a personal mail to your lover and ditch your ass.

Anyway, these kind of women requires special attention. Again, all women do. Don't treat them like shit. They're not trophies where you just wife clean and display to brag it towards people. They have their own minds. Geez, guys, be more respectful. Know your girl more, whether she's your sister, wife, grandma, whatever. That's all I'm asking you. In return, they'll definitely return the same respect you gave them, as long as they're not bitches, that is.

Unlike my other entries, this kind of special cases tends to be short, so shut up and take it with a grain of salt. I'm not your professional writer, folks.

 **Task One:** Shrug her off when she's in doubt about your love.

Come on, guys. Women are sensitive objects, especially for the emotional ones. Always make an effort to reassure her that she's not just your sex object to satisfy your sexual cravings. Or just there so you'll not be called a wimp for not having a girlfriend. Or you really do care for her. Women needs a lot of reassurance, especially for the type I'm tackling right now. I repeat, DO NOT ignore their pleas. Please, babysit them and give them all of your attention. Abort mission on whatever plans you have whenever she's feeling down.

 **Task Two:** Push her away when she has a problem.

Don't be a selfish bastard and focus only on your own problem. A relationship works two-ways. It's always a give-and-take situation. Same goes for her, too. Don't leave the problem hanging and make it grow into something serious. Talk about it. No matter who you're talking with, just talk. If you want to not cause any trouble, talk about it as soon as possible. Don't be a pussy and let it cool down, unless one of you really needs to calm down to get your senses back. Don't force either, it'll be disrespecting of someone's feelings.

I really can't say much about this one, since I don't really know you, _Cosmo Camellia_ , but I do hope my tips can help _Demidevil45_ be a better man, if he sucks, that is. Also, on my wife's behalf, we also hope your relationship with him will last a life time.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Cosmo Camellia_ is one of my Fanfiction friends, so I'm **dedicating** this chapter for her. Hope this short entry will cheer you up or two. I did my best to mix two elements together, that is their universe as well as our own, to not possibly make this a 4th-wall breaking story, which is not I'm intending to do, or it'll definitely be a crack story that will only have a few chapters posted. Note that all entries are appreciated, since it'll help me think of what entry to write about when I hit the roadblock. Keep sending Ragna request about something, just don't try to piss him off. Also, it seems that Fanfiction mistakes the dot between her name as a link, so whenever I save my chapter, it'll disappear, so I have to remove it. That'll be bad. Sorry if it's bland in some way.


	5. October 31 - Day of the Year

How **NOT** to celebrate: _A woman's birthday._

Well, I'm probably guessing you're dying to know who's my wife is. I bet few of you already got the hint (it's easy, she's not a bimbo). Now, if you still don't know, lemme spell it out for you after I do this entry of mine. It's time to celebrate since it's... my wife's birthday! By the time it's posted online, it's my wife's birthday. You may wonder why the hell am I still typing here and not go out and get laid? Well, I already typed this one in advance, and I bet I'll have the best night out there. Not gonna share how it happened, you perverts!

Back on the subject, women LOVES men who can remember the smallest of details (no, not how many pubic hair they have, nor how many times they have to pee in one day), and those who are thoughtful as well. They will feel fluffy and mushy inside, and their reactions may vary. Some may outright tell you how they loved that you remember it, mushy speaking or not, and others may deny it for some reason. I can feel the latter. It's just a reminder of the day you were born. What's the big deal? Why celebrate it?

Well, without any more bullshit, here's the valuable tips you need to bear in mind.

 **Task 1:** _Forget her birthday_

Never, ever do this, intentionally or a prank. You're just going to ask for a deathwish. If you forget her birthday, it'll be the end of the world for your relationship with her. No joke. I really can't say much about this task, since I never even bother to test it out myself. Instead of myself, I'm going to show you why it must not be done, featuring my annoying and shitty brother, Jin.

So, Tsubaki was strolling on the road, being happy and shit. It was her birthday, obviously. All of her friends already greeted her, except Jin. Being in love with Jin, she's expecting something high from him. A present, something special, shit like that. But with Jin being a jerk in general, he didn't bother to get her anything! Nothing at all! I mean, I know I can be an ass, but come on! He can sometimes be a total dick! On that same moment, Jin just shrugged her off and moved on. They're supposed to be close and shit, but somehow he didn't realize it was Tsubaki's birthday.

I was inclined to sympathize with Tsubaki but you know what bullshit happened? SHE BLAMES ME FOR NOT RAISING JIN RIGHT AND FOR HIM BEING A TOTAL DICK! After she was devastated and running like an angry bull, she happened to be on the same fast food I was in. Of course, being nicer thanks to hanging out with Rachel and Valkenhayn (I have to write his name, or else you'll not see this entry alive), I greeted her and reached out a coupon for a date. Of course, I'm aware of his feelings for Jin thanks to Noel, so... the coupon would be useful for the two.

I swear to God that woman has it out for me and won't rest until I'm six feet under the ground. I already did a good act for her, yet she yelled at me and demanded to ME TO LEAVE FROM HER SIGHT! WHAT A BITCH! Bottom line, don't be a dick like my brother and forget the birthday of the one that you love, even though you feel lazy. I'm an asshole, but I'm not a real asshole.

 **Task 2:** _Take her somewhere that she's not into_

You see, her birthday is not a time to be a selfish bastard. That means we guys have to be an obedient little puppy and obey her commands. So instead of forcing her to eat on that cheap chinese fast food that obviously tastes shit, have some class and take her somewhere where she wants to eat. Even though you don't like the place she wants to go to, go there anyway. It's the only way to hold out her nagging. Besides, it's only one day out of how many? Three hundred something?

Anyway, don't be a selfish bastard. If I have to beg since the world depends on it, I would. But not now, but still. Don't be selfish. Take her out on a date. Buy her the thing she wanted the most. Make her happy. It's really simple to do. It's not like your life is on life support that you really can't do this basic things.

 **Task 3:** _Don't give her gifts_

There's no excuse not to do this. You have plenty of time to give her a gift. If you think that you won't have time later on to give her a gift, then schedule a time much earlier so you can get her gift in advanced. Just remember to give her the gift on the day, though. Or you're asking for break-up with her. Also, don't be a cheapskate. Be considerate and buy something that's worth it. Don't be giving her a gumball you can buy at a store any day of the week. Or a piece of candy. Flowers and chocolates are expensive enough, so you may one to buy those if you don't have anything in mind. An expensive clothes will do you good, too. Just make sure you know her fashion sense.

DO NOT buy her sex toys unless she's into that shit. And don't force her to try it on her birthday, if she's reluctant on doing so. And if you somehow can't buy her something, make the gift and put a shit-ton of thought into it. Remember, it's the thought that counts, not the price of your gift. If the price does matter, I may want you to ditch her right now. She's just a leech to your pocket.

 **Task 4:** _Invite people she knows and hate_

Even though the person who you're inviting is your best friend, if she has a beef with them, then don't invite them. Plain and simple. Don't believe me? I'll give you an example.

I'm friendly with Bullet. We spar often. Then here comes Bang. He and Bullet seems to get along well, so I get along with Bang fine as well. The thing that slightly irks me is his stench. If a sweat could rot, that is the description I can give to Bang. I dunno why Bullet didn't comment about him, but I guess she's used to it.

So, I decided to invite Bang in my wife's birthday, and I regret making that decision. She unleashed hell on me for inviting that loud and obnoxious ninja who will make everything rot by his presence alone. In the end, we have to invite Amane to balance things out, AND to make sure Bang smells like a baby powder. Thing is, I don't like Amane, she hates Bang. Compromising is the key.

 **Task 5:** _Demand her to do things_

This one should be simple enough, but somehow people still do this shit. A birthday is about celebrating their life. I know, that I'm one to talk. My life has barely anything worth celebrating. Anyway, got something for her to do? It can wait. Want her to tell you something? It can wait. Want to ask her a favour? IT CAN WAIT. It's her freaking birthday, let her relax and be stress free.

When you don't, oh boy... I'll give you another one. But instead of a scene, it's not. Noel ranted to me about Makoto. She was demanding a lot on her birthday, instead of shining on her birthday, it seems like Makoto's going to take the spotlight! I know they're best friends and all that shit, but can Makoto at least realize that it's Noel's birthday so she needs to sit in the box seats for now? I was about to teach her a lesson or two, then I remembered Tsubaki. So I told her to say it to Tsubaki instead. For once, I'm glad Noel understands why.

So there you have it. If your wife's birthday is today, Halloween, you know what to do.

...What? What do you mean you still didn't get my wife's identity? I already made it obvious people, sheesh! ...Fine, I'll spell it out for you. It's Rachel. ...No, I am not ashamed. No, really! I am not!

 _Burn marks are all over the place on this original page. The page itself is crumpled._

Screw you, Noel. Next time, I'll not invite you to hang out with me while I write.


End file.
